Words From a Friend...

God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED...  to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and  to make you into the person you were meant to be.                                                      One Flaw In Women     Women have strengths that amaze men.....  They bear hardships and they carry burdens,  but they hold happiness, love and joy.  They smile when they want to scream.  They sing when they want to cry.  They cry when they are happy  and laugh when they are nervous.  They fight for what they believe in..  They stand up to injustice.  They don't take "no" for an answer  when they believe there is a better solution.  They go without so their family can have.  They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.  They love unconditionally.  They cry when their children excel  and cheer when their friends get awards.  They are happy when they hear about  a birth or a wedding.    Their hearts break when a friend dies.    They grieve at the loss of a family member,  yet they are strong when they  think there is no strength left.  They know that a hug and a kiss  can heal a broken heart.  Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.  They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you  to show how much they care about you.  The heart of a woman is what  makes the world keep turning.  They bring joy, hope and love.  They have compassion and ideas.  They give moral support to their  family and friends.  Women have vital things to say  and everything to give..   HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,   IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.     Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing women are.   Just a Reminder!

Super Bowl Sunday February 7, 2010

Well, here is an old post I found in Blogger Heaven ;o) 

This was from the weekend of Superbowl Sunday, Lord knows when that was, because I sure don't remember the date.  I could look it up but it really isn't that important in the scheme of things.  Aah, the date is in my title, Feb 7, 2010.

Us Wheeler's as in Judd, Myself and of course our dogie had a fairly nice weekend with Friends and Family.  Saturday morning Judd had a Pallet Building Fiesta at the warehouse, preparing food pallets for the very poor and needy for pick up. 

After that we did a little shopping and then we were off to our dear friends Jitka & Bob's for dinner.  The company was good and so was the food!  After dinner we got a little crazy and climbed the walls in their house (by the way I wanted to buy this house before our friends purchased it, on the bright side, we don't have to maintain this house or very large property, yet we still get to enjoy it!)  Just thinking out loud ;o)

then went to their pool house and did Karaoke!

Even our Baby Girl enjoyed the evening!  Her Auntie Jitka loves to spoil her! 

Then today our neighbors had their traditional Super Bowl Party, that was fun too. Most of our neighborhood, our families and extended friends of our hood attend this big event...the kids love it too!  We have great food, bonding, laughs and prizes...

   
 
 

This year we even Skyped in Sam and his Family from Japan to join the festivities...

Pretty cool, huh?

For me, the events of this weekend were a good distraction!
 
I've been dealing with terrible side effects of having a Thyroid Disorder. If anyone out there has suffered with a thyroid disorder/disease I'm sure you can relate! I say Thyroid Disorder vs. Thyroid Disease because I don't have a thyroid. I had 95% of my thyroid first removed in 1973 but it grew back, go figure.  Then I developed a rare Hurthle Cell Tumor in my thyroid gland which caused  my thyroid to be completely removed a few years back.

So, how does one suffer from thyroid disease if you don't have thyroid glands?  I don't quite understand all this myself!

Anyway, having a thyroid disorder can be so draining to one's body and mind. I can't wait to get this medical condition under control! I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm itchy, I'm swelling, I don't sleep very much, I sleep too much, I've gained weight, my skin is extremely dry, my limbs are very tired and so am I!  Hey, it could be worse... (I have to remember this when I'm feeling so crummy)
 
Anyway, this was the highs and lows for the Wheelers the weekend of Superbowl Sunday, 2010. 

We have a Loving Family, Fabulous Friends and Neighbors, we're Blessed ... Life is pretty good.

 

And By the way...

 

 

 

Just for a chuckle, BLONDE JOKES...

I said in a previous post that I would from time to time post emails from friends or at least bits and pieces of e-mails I have received. 

Now that I have given this a little more thought, I also think I should give credit where credit is due ;o)  So be careful of what you e-mail me... 

Anyway the following "Blonde Jokes" were compliments of my dear friend Maureen who lives in PA.  (Thanks for the Chuckle Maureen!)

Please don't be offended if you're Blonde, I was a Blonde myself before my hair turned gray/platinum, so I feel it's ok to post this.  There's nothing like Blonde Humor (if it's good.)

Enjoy!
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Two Blondes With Hammers...
Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.'

Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
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Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

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You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.

'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'

'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'

'So then?' asked the doctor.

'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'

'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

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A blonde was driving home after a game...

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?'

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the  dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
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Blonde Shops at Target...

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was..

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied...

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied... .... ...'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

A blonde goes into work one morning crying...

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde.. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
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Oh to be Blonde ;o)  

United Airline...a Bitter Sweet Experience

Well, I've been home two and a half weeks from New York and still can't believe the ordeal I went through with United Airlines. 


Just to recap, if you have been following my blog (IF)... you are then aware of how I tried to use my frequent flyer miles in a bereavement situation last month. I needed to get a flight from California to Long Island, NY on Friday April 9th.  I had more than enough frequent flyer miles but United would not honor my miles for a Berveavement Fare.  

I spoke with several supervisors at United Airlines trying to book a bereavement flight to say my goodbye to a Dear Friend/Big Brother, Uncle Mike whos life as I knew it was coming to an end. His wife, a dear friend, Nancy (aka:Aunt Nancy) had called me Friday, April 9th to let me know that her Husband, my Dear Friend would be crossing over Rainbows Bridge sometime within the next 24 hours.

was not accommodating at all!  Of course if I wanted to pay the full fare for a last minute ticket then and only then would they book me a seat. 

Needless to say Uncle Mike passed the following day, Saturday,  April 10, 2010.  He in New York and me still in California :o(    Unfortunately, because United Airlines would not honor my frequent flyer miles in a time of bereavement  I was not able to get back to NY in time to see Mike before his passing. 

The following day (Sunday) I went to church (as I usually do on Sundays) and when I returned home from church I had made peace with the fact that Mike passed away and was in a better place. I knew in my heart, what was most important, Mike was finally at rest,  he was no longer suffering. 

At that point I very calmly picked up the phone (again), called United Airlines and asked to speak with a Supervisor (again.)  Finally, I got a Supervisor who was very sympathetic and apologetic for his predecessors attitudes.  He offered to book me a seat using my frequent flyer miles in order to get me back east in time for the Memorial Services.  

   

pulled through!

It was a Bitter Sweet moment when the supervisor booked me the flight to New York.

I finally made it back to New York and said my good-byes for now.  RIP, Uncle Mike, you may not be here physically, but you're spirit lives on and you will always be in our hearts.

United Air: What Good are Air Miles if U can't use them when you need them?

What good are frequent flier miles if you cannot use them when you REALLY, REALLY NEED THEM??????????? I am so frustrated right now! I just spent the last 4 hours jumping thru hoops and trying to keep my “KEWL” while speaking to foreigners (that I could hardly understand) while desperately trying to book a seat with my miles thru UNITED AIRLINES, with no luck I might add. I am devastated!

Some of you may know how poor I grew up and that life was not easy for me as a child. Somehow, I got thru those times because God blessed me with Angels on Earth to help me along the way.

We moved to a remote part of Long Island when I was a little tyke, then my Father abandoned our family, my Mother legally could not drive due to a medical condition, we lost our home and had to move from our comfort zone. We moved a few town south of where we lived and walked everywhere we had to go.

I met this newlywed couple with a child when I was about 10 years old and they hired me as a Mothers Helper and eventually I became their official babysitter! I made …are you ready for this…$0.25 per hour, and of course, this included cleaning the house as well while I babysat. That was almost fifty years ago and to this day, I am still very close with that family. I refer to them as Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mile.

As the years went on, they became my chauffeurs in a way because my Mom could not drive. If there was an event they would take me and then pick me up when the event was over, anywhere I had to go that was either was too far or was in the evenings, good old Uncle Mike would take me and pick me up. Over the years, their kids babysat for my kids and then my kids babysat for their grandkids… The circle of life.

The reason I share all this is that I want to express how tight my bond is with this family. We may not be blood related but we are closer than most blood related people.

The last seven months has been difficult for the family because Uncle Mike has been in the battle of his life. He has an incurable cancer which he has been battling for almost 8 years and his time is almost up. This afternoon I received a call from Aunt Nancy, she was in tears, she told me that the nurse just left the (hospital) room, and told her he will either pass tonight or tomorrow morning. She asked me to please come home and I feel it is my place to be there. We have been through so much together over the past 50 years, how can I not be there?

So, I get on the computer and start checking out airfares and they are out of this world right now. To add insult to injury, even if I had millions in the bank, there’s not a flight I can get out of San Diego until Monday. So I start checking out my airline miles and discovered I have more than enough miles to fly on United Airlines roundtrip…WOW, I was thrilled!

 

Well, I was thrilled until I found out that although I have enough miles there are no seats available for frequent flier miles passenger. I am so furious! I’m not going on a vacation; this is a bereavement trip and UNITED AIRLINES CAN NOT ACCOMADATE ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ENOUGH MILES…THAT SUCKS!!!

(Just for the record United Airlines: Bereavement: to deprive somebody of a beloved person or a treasured thing, especially through death, Thank You UNITED AIRLINES)   

Everyone was as sweet as could be for the most part and told me how to book my flight however; they couldn’t do it because it was not their position or department but would transfer me to the next person who could…Right... Transfer...Click...No luck.

To top the evening off I missed the opportunity to sit and watch a movie with my Darling who I will be away from for the next two weeks. 

I will use these air miles but will probably never fly on United again…

Because:                           

Ain’t so United in my book! 

Uncle Mike in 2005

In the meantime, Uncle Mike I hope I can make it back in time. If I don’t I know, you know I tried and that I love you and I’ll see you in the next life!

                                                                    Uncle Mike 2009

Thank You for making  

  this difficult season even more difficult!

CASA WHEELER: United Air: What Good are Air Miles if U can't use them when you need them?

CASA WHEELER: United Air: What Good are Air Miles if U can't use them when you need them?

My Struggles of Motherhood.

We have neighbors/friends that are absolutely amazing! They have four children under age 5… can you imagine that? They have a set of triplets and a singleton and the best parents you can imagine, not to mention they are creative working parents. Did I mention they have four kids under five?


They tossed and turned for a few years about moving feeling their house was to small. Finally, they made their decision to stay and enrolled their trips to start Kindergarten here in the summer. For those of you who think I meant to say, “Fall”, this was not a mistake. You see we have year round school here, so the school year begins in July verses traditional school, which starts in the fall.

Jenna has a very good job, works for a major corporation, has fantastic benefits, pension makes good money and works out of her home. She actually get to have three meals a day with her children! Jen’s Husband’ Charlie is amazing too, totally hands on Dad, a great cook, intelligent, understanding and the love for his kids oozes from within. He recently started his own business, which also gives him flexibility to be with the kids. What more could you ask for…Right?

Recently, Jenna’s boss offered her a position with her same company but it involves a move to the East Coast. If she does not accept this offer, she thinks she will likely be out of a job with this company in two years. However, Charlie feels he can continue to grow his business from the east coast.

So why am I blogging about Jenna and Charlie?

Jenna is a “Serious Blogger” She has been blogging lately about the pros and cons of Moving, working, Motherhood. To move or not to move is the question.

Well, her recent blog brought up so many memories for me that I just wanted to share with my kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews and friends what my thoughts are and what I feel, what I felt and what I went thru as a young mother.

Below is my response to Jenna’s blog on Tuesday April 1, “Mental Chatter and Conflicts”:
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Ok...How close will you be to your family if you make this (silly) move? Remember, you'll be working full time in an office, commuting on those terrible highways, well depending on where you live and how far you have to travel, the hour, etc... Leaving you tired at the end of the day, needing to do homework with your kids, baths, and bedtime stories. Then MAYBE have a glass of wine with your Darling before passing out. Then guess what, you wake up the next morning and the rat race begins again.

Ok, so now you've made it thru a 5-day workweek. With four children, you'll be running in four different directions on the weekends. One will have a Birthday party to attend, (oh yeah, did you pick up that gift last week for the Birthday party, no... because between work and commuting you were spent) then the other one has baseball practice, one has dance and one has gymnastics. Oh and don't forget all that laundry that you couldn't get to during the week, the vacuuming and the deep cleaning that has to be done on weekends...got my point yet, when will you really have time to see your family? You can’t even find time to visit a neighbor with your flexible schedule now!

For the average working family, the reality of quality time with extended family is when you plan vacations to visit your family, making it even more special! Of course, if you plan to move into your family’s neighborhood where the kids can walk over to a cousin’s house, then that changes the dynamics a little. If one of your reasons/decision/concerns is for your kids have more (visual) communication with your extended family get SKYPE.

The following is a quote of yours: (referring to Jenna)

" I will NEVER get these years back again.

My company can replace me.

My children can't. "

I remember that struggle in life. Should I work, should I stay home? My heart told me I needed to be home with my babies, my mind said I needed a career. So, for years I vacillated between Motherhood and career. I first decided to be home with my kids, but after a year, I would find myself looking at the want ads and returning to work.

After six months back in the field I would feel so guilty that I would quit my job to be home with my kids, and then I'd feel like...Just a MOM and the desire to work would return. Those were probably the hardest years of my life and the loneliest years as well. No one really understood that internally struggle I was going thru. I loved my babies so much and if I had the chance to do it all again, I'd pick my kids and be “Just a Mom.” Being a Mom is one of life’s greatest honors. Nothing is worse or pulls at your heart when your little one needs you and you can’t be there for them. If you can, seize this moment in time with them.

Now, as far as college education for four, if you were stay here, when the time is right, get a job at a University for example; Point Loma Nazarene and your kids get their education free!

Lastly, if you do move renting can be a daunting experience unless you rent to the right people. As you know, we live in a nice part of town with a heavy military influence. You will never go wrong if you were to rent to someone in the military, (officer preferred.)

I know I already said lastly BUT… I think I will add this to my blog so my Children can read what a struggle I had when they were young.

The ramblings of a sleep deprived insomniac!

Debra
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Something I did not go into in my posting to Jenna is that you never really know what is going to happen tomorrow, that is why I said seize the moment! The years just fly by and before you know it, you become an empty nester with lots of time to reflect.

Well, after my struggles, frustration, and tears I no longer had the opportunity to choose between being home with my Children or working, I had to work! I became a single parent and the sole financial provider for my beautiful children. If had had known when they were babies that I would have to work later on and be their sole financial provider I would have spent every breath I had with my kids and not worked a day when they were babies.

I think we tend to believe that our kids need us so much when they are young, you know those formative years. Well guess what, those formative years never end… they have stages and it is so important to be there (if you can) for each stage in their life.

I also had to decide whether to move cross-country. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. It is very hard to move away from the only world you know, to leave behind my family and friends. I still cannot believe I did it, but I also know in my heart that this was the best decision for my family and me at the time. My children hated me for making this move but I had to, I needed to get out of dodge, my life depended on it (moving away.) So to this day, I am glad I made the move and hopefully one day my kids will really understand why.

I regret so many decisions I made or was forced to make due to my situation but I did the best I could with the knowledge I had during that season of my life.. If I could go back and live the primary years with my kids over, my God knows I would.

Unfortunately, today (and I cannot believe I am going to disclose this) I have a dysfunctional relationship with my grown kids. I love them and I know they love me but when I try to stand my ground on my beliefs and values, (which have not really changed over the years) it tends to cause distance between us. My heartbreaks and I just don’t know how to get threw to my kids without pushing them away. Is our dysfunctional relationship my entire fault? I think not. Did I make nothing but selfish decisions? I think not. Did I not teach them values and respect for others? I think not! Was I so wrong for working and not accepting public assistance? I think not! Did I love them with all I had? I think so, no, no, no… I know so! Everything I did, I did for them!